Beautiful Sadness

My bearings on life are lost
I can't seem to figure out the cost
Of being happy, without fear
But I turn again another year
Without cause or reason to be here.
I'm beginning to wonder why I'm alive
My emotions stabbing me like a thousand knives
Is this life worth it?  To be here without place
I feel the tears flowing down my face
As I sit here pondering my world,
My thoughts fall on a pearl,
A perfect sphere, clear of sin
White, for saints rising again
My thoughts fall also on my friends
These thoughts always chasing me around the bend
Most of my friends aren't true,
Lies and false promises fall with youth
I need someone to tell me they will always be there
I need someone that I can tell my deepest fears
My thoughts again wander to other people.
Why must people be so uncaring and cold?
This "I don't care" shit is getting old.
I just once want to meet someone like me.
Me now.  The way I always wanted to be.
I find truth in despair, and I don't like it.