In retrospect, i fucked up.

shes so fucking naive
and she wears her heart on her sleeve
all she ever wanted was to feel
and confront the darkness that wont leave.
now its daylight and the pain subsides
and this fantasy is getting carried away
too far into this twisted world of lies and what you say
she keeps hearing, but you dont know shes watching everything
every move you make
and all the beautiful things you say
from this view.
and that smile, like the only thing
she needed
was just another distraction
to make it through today.
until darkness returns
and into your arms she can run
still believing the things you say
and dont have to.
the deafening silence tells her everything she needs to know
because every second i can spend just to be near you
is enough to make me fall forever.
 
grind me up so fine
take away my imperfections
split my soul from my spine.
lay me across your plate
and pick apart anything you dont want.
leave behind only the best of whats left
and throw away the broken pieces of my heart.
start what you finished.
cut me down the middle
and empty my insides.
use me for your escape.
slowly fall into me...
find the place where love starts
and the smoke begins to fill your lungs.
i dont want to breathe anymore unless
you start doing it for me.
wrap yourself around me,
and give me everything you have.
i want to feel you.
give me the perfect reason to stay.
use me for your escape
until the fire fades
and put me out until you need to
feel the high again.
 
i cant seem to strain my eyes anymore
to play with yours.
because this back and forth bullshit is getting old.
if you read my mind youd be suprised to find
its not only about your face.
and the way your mouth holds this shape
i find myself obsessing over every inch of you.
your fingers delicately pick at my heart.. strings..
and every chord you strike is another i cant find the right words to
but you always do.
you have a tendency of making me think too much.
analysis is key in my madness
and all the lies i continue to believe.
we arent talking anymore
and you need to leave
before you start to think about it.
because you cant help but think about it.
look at me, and tell me that you wont.
watch me watching you, your every move.
can you really let something like this go?
or are you going to push emotion aside
and let this be something neutral.
i need to be the positive of your day.
you are the warmth that always goes away.

 
they were made of the sunlight and everything shone through their eyes. and inside, he cried for escape.
and she watched as the two talked
they shared stories of love
and war.
this man with the light, he taught her about god
and all the things the sun would touch.
he taught her about love and pain
though he never said much.
countless hours theyd spend together
tracing the patterns on the ceiling.
she saw his eyes and painted his soul
as a permanent reminder of the epitome
of evervescent beauty.
such a dark heart, afraid to love.
he has sealed his wounds forever.
all she wanted was to be near him.
the man with the laughter gave her a smile
she cant erase from her mind.
a fantastic dream of what could be
with their fingers intertwined.
he envisioned a life of luxury but
fate has a way of breaking promises.
he wont tell any secrets
or let his heart show.
he keeps his fears disguised
afraid to let her know.
this is how it feels to bleed.
the three sit together on a bench
no one says a word
there is nothing to say when you can close your eyes
and feel.
 
whats wrong with honesty?
why cant we tell our secrets without being ashamed?
do you think this is what he intended
when he made us with a conscience?
that voice in the back of your brain when you feel like you should say something but cant
find the words...
thats god telling you its okay.
you are only human
theres nothing wrong with mistakes.
we are made in the image of perfection
so flawed.
we fill our bodies with poison and loathe it.
i love it.
we take for granted the air in our lungs
and drown it with smoke and chemicals.
we modify our bodies in the name of pain
just to get a little closer to you.
i cant help but make myself crazy over the sunshine
or the way the earth moves together to form something so natural.
natural beauty
breathtaking and painstaking
every piece of this life has been broken and i cant find the pattern
i dont sleep anymore
because i dont want to miss a moment of the sunlight
cast on me, and find my purpose
i need to hear you say this is right.
lead me in the direction of my destiny.
stop my soul from losing its way.
ive strayed from myself lately
getting lost in a sick world of these lies
i cant stop believing.
there has to be more to life than
every day being the same.
so im turning to you in this time of need
because what are friends for?
im just being honest and trying to find a meaning.